Trust building
by Milli Moi
Summary: The Avenger may be a team but these conversations, the laughs, and the tears are what made them so. this is a collection of short stories set throughout all the avenger's films to date.
1. Chapter 1

The tv screen in Stark Tower slash Avengers Tower was almost a cinema screen if you asked Steve. It was larger than the movie screens of his youth but not quite as large as those around nowadays. He was trying to keep his concentration away from the content of the tv show, a horrible fitness commercial which featured a woman wearing one of those sports bra's that Nat wore for training sometimes. Except he could've sworn the content of this neon pink combination was far more, well- more, than he had ever noticed on Natasha.

Tony himself was fixed on the tv presenter, although it was clear that those eyes weren't settled on her face. Clint, who sat opposite was occasionally glancing up from the newspaper he was reading, the newspaper he would usually scoff at, but currently he was saying nothing.

Suddenly the screen disintegrated into black, followed by a disgruntled groan right in Steve's ear which made him jump and then, ready like a coiled spring. Of course it was Natasha- the only one who could successfully creep up on the whole team.

"Fake," Nat uttered, crossing her arms across her chest.

Tony glared at her in disbelieve,

"Way to crush a guy's dreams Romanoff."

Natasha rolled her eyes,

"If men didn't have such high expectation then perhaps they could live in the real world."

Clint by this point had lowered his newspaper into his lap.

"And how d'you know there fake, breastfeeding can do marvellous things you know."

"How? You can practically see the silicone through her skin, any baby goes near those things they'd burst."

At this point Thor, who had been sitting quietly and confused beside Tony began to speak.

"Do you mean to say this woman's bosoms are filled with plastic? What reason is there for that?"

It was Tony's turn to look confused,

"What, what reason? Thor I think you need another look buddy, those... Orbs of fun, they are all you could dream of."

"Валовой."

Steve sighed, shifting forwards in the leather armchair.

"I think Natasha's right, if someone is born one way, they should stay the way God made them."

"Unless they are Transgender." This voice came from further into the room, under the staircase where Bruce sat sheltering behind the screen of a laptop.

Steve found himself glaring at Bruce, did he really have to bring up the one scientific anomaly which didn't fit the argument.

Tony shook his head, before patting Thor on a large shoulder and beginning again.

"Ok, see it this way, woman are attractive. Boobs make them ultra attractive, so bigger boobs make them...?"

"Less... Fit for warfare?"

Natasha laughed smiling snuggly down at Tony. She sashayed over, making a point of rocking her hips so five pairs of eyes couldn't help but fall to her ass. Leaning over Tony she stage-whispered in his ear.

"You see Tony, the world doesn't revolve around objectifying woman. And if advice against objectifying woman who can kick your ass into next week."

Thor was meanwhile looking thoughtful, he opened his mouth and closed it numerous times, looking more and more pained with each. Eventually he looked up at Nat, who once again stood behind Tony.

"Romanoff, forgive me, have your breasts been enhanced.

Natasha raised her hand to her head as if shading her eyes, she turned towards me trying to suppress a laugh.

"Возе моя,"

"No, she said biting her lip.

"Do you think I need it?" She winked at Thor, cupping her breasts gently in suggestion. Thor cleared his throat and Steve would have sworn he saw Bruce duck quickly back behind the screen.

Natasha turned to walk towards the kitchen which must've been her original plan but before she reached the wall partition she turned on her toe and added, "Btw, that presenter? I agree, she's got great boobs."

The room sat in stunned silence, all of the men glancing bemused at each other. There was no knowing with Natasha. Sometimes she really was one of the boys.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, go on Steve," Natasha sat up on her feet, getting a numb backside from the long car journey.

She wriggled her hand back into the bag of peanuts which sat in the cubby hole between the stick shift and the dash. A handful of nuts were poured into her mouth while she washed the guy at the wheel.

"Are you?" She muttered through a mouthful.

The captain rocked his head awkwardly from side to side before sighing deeply.

"Yes."

Natasha found herself grinning until she noted the irritated look on Steve's face.

"It's nothing to get bummed down about," she paused to eat another few peanuts, watching and waiting for the obvious return question.

Eventually it came.

"What about you then?"

Natasha snorted,

"Steven Rogers, are you asking me, me of all people, if I'm a virgin." She struggled to get the words out behind the laughter but it was so ridiculous an idea even if part of her dreamed it could be true.

Steve grinned, cheekily. He shook his head, "Like I told you before, I'm 94- not dead." He paused, losing his smile. " were you young?"

Natasha felt her body stiffen. Usually she lied, told them she'd been older, more mature and equipped but Cap, he was so honest. Cap deserved the truth, and she knew he would keep it to himself. Her eyes went to the window, she swallowed even though her mouth was dry at the thought.

"I was fourteen."

"Fourteen!" Cap's response was instant, he was shocked, possibly saddened, by what he had just heard. There was silence in the car before Steve let out a slow long breath.

"You were a child." He wasn't laughing now, and that worried Natasha.

"It wasn't illegal - in Russia - no one did any lasting damage. It was part of the job."

Steve fell back into silence. Natasha didn't know what else to say. It was a sore subject for anyone but her. In a way she felt it had helped her. She didn't really enjoy sex, not in the way people described it. Sure it happened now and again- although most guys didn't want a girl who had better Abs than they did - but she wasn't the sexual deviant most people thought she was. It was a job, that was all.

"And hey," Nat shrugged, " Clint was only thirteen."

Steve's eyes flashed from the road to Natasha briefly.

"How do you-? When I was a boy you'd never speak to girl about those sorts of things. What happened in the bedroom wasn't stuff you knew about, except from dirty magazines or older boys."

Natasha grinned.

"I know, it's shocking old man, I mean you see much more than ankles these days."

Steve nudged her, rolled his eyes and smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Bruce sometimes wondered how this group of responsible citizens could be considered such. It was three am on Tuesday morning and the whole team were still lounging around in the kitchen drinking beers, all accept an awkward looking Thor who had offered Natasha a glass of wine and ended up drinking it himself.

Tony and Steve were seated on bar stools around the island in the centre of the room, Nat had decided a chair wasn't necessary and sat on the Island itself. Thor leaned with his back to the fridge and Clint sat on the worktop near the sink, looking both a little green and a little delirious.

After a massive gulp from his bottle Tony leant back on his stool, looking towards Natasha as if waiting for something. He asked a question, which must have been for the second time telling by his tone.

"Come on Nat, spill, what does a girl look for?"

Nat rolled her eyes, she had heard this so many times. Her eyes met those belonging to Bruce and she gave him a suggestive wink. Drawing up her knees to her chest she turned back to the boys and began to talk.

"You know I've got more experience than you could ever dream of Tony, but do you really want the truth? I mean, I probably know more about the sex lives of all of you than you know about yourselves."

It was clear to Bruce, she was trying her best to play with them. They were all so typical, young guys led by their anatomy not by their brain. Perhaps he had a better insight than all of them, more mental control. He couldn't remember the last time he slept with someone, sure he had played around with Natasha- but she could hold her own, she knew what to do if things went bad. He couldn't have sex, it was too risky, far too risky.

The rest of the guys were glancing between each other, each looking nervous. Natasha smirked, looking at each of them in turn.

"Clinton Barton, likes a girl that can hold her own. He's average,

6.2."

"Hey, I'm taller than that." Clint replied, looking shifty. Natasha laughed once, glancing at the ceiling and answering,

"I wasn't talking about your height." Clint swallowed, his eyes widening. Bruce could feel himself smirking, they all fell for it so easy.

"Thor, not so much what those on Midgard would consider average, but, as for his own people, yeah we're talking average. Steve, it wasn't just your built that grew, huh?"

Steve blushed a deep pink and glared at Natasha as though she had just kicked a puppy. Tony by this point was sniggering to himself until Nat spoke his name and he instantly fell silent.

"Tony, You're the real man's man, think your pretty savvy, but, I won't embarrass you by giving the guys a quote. Let's just say you're not doing too bad, if you were Korean."

Clint burst at laughing at this, and was quickly followed by the others. Tony slowly joined in with a look of annoyance on his face. They all looked distinctly nervous however. Bruce was glad he was on the edge of the group, away from Natasha's bare-all approach. Even if he knew it was all rubbish.

He had been involved in a correlation between enhanced individuals not long after the events with Ultron. They had compared how the fertility of enhanced individuals compared to that of the general population. As far as population they all had relatively average Penises, as well as reasonably good sperm count. That would have been enough to tell him the answers of Nat's test even if she hadn't already told him.

Whatever had happened to Natasha, the operation, it wasn't full proof, she had enough ovarian tissue that she still produced a very limited amount of eggs. Enough proof again that she hadn't been up close and personal with all the team. Otherwise a pregnancy would have happened - even with the odds as low as a 0.02% chance.

She liked to play with them, but play time came to an abrupt end as at that moment Wanda's laughter preceded her into the room.

"You men, you are all the same. You are too bothered with what others think is between your legs to listen to the facts. Do any of you remember having slept with Natasha, or should I say, would you forget the experience if you had done?"

The men all looked at each other, and slowly most of them shook their heads, smiling and eventually laughing. Clint was the first to speak,

"We should all no better, never trust an assassin. Even if she is hot."


	4. Chapter 4

The Idiot tonyisthebest

FE: carrottop ; Legolas ; greengiant ; hammertime :

Ok , this should keep Cap's little teambuilding crap away, just fill in the questions and we won't have to go horseback riding or bowling. ?

Full Name: Robert Bruce Banner

Age: 50

Birthday: Nov. 22, 1967

Height: 5'9.5

Weight: 128 lb

Hair: dark Brown

Eyes: Brown

Occupation: Doctor

Parents: Brian and Rebecca Banner

Siblings: None

Heritage: US citizen

Religion: Atheist

Hobbies: scientific research, trying not to get mad.

Favourite colour: anything but green

Favourite animal: Horses, they seem so free

Full Name: Natasha Romanoff

Age: 34

Birthday: I don't like cake.

Height: 5'7

Weight: 130 lb

Hair: Red

Eyes: Green

Occupation: Assassin/Spy/S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent

Parents: who knows? Orphaned anyway

Siblings: nope

Heritage: Russian

Religion: Thor

Hobbies: squishing flies. Kicking the asses of creeps worldwide.

Favourite colour: Red

Favourite animal: … steak.

Full Name: Clinton Barton

Age: 46

Birthday: 7th of January, 1971

Height: 6'3

Weight: 230 lb

Hair: blonde/Brown

Eyes: Brown

Occupation: S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent/sniper

Parents: Harold and Edith Barton

Siblings: Barney Barton

Heritage: Good old Iowa USA

Religion: Gods ain't real man- 'cept Thor

Hobbies: darts, golf, tennis, archery… building stuff. Eating…?

Favourite colour: Purple, and that does Not make me gay Tony!

Favourite animal: Dogs, dogs are man's best friend for a reason right?

Full Name: Thor Odinson

Age: 1000 years

Birthday: the eleventh day of august in the earth year 1017

Height: 6'6

Weight: 640 lb

Hair: blonde

Eyes: Blue

Occupation: God of Thunder, Avenger of the earth

Parents: Odin and Freja

Siblings: Loki (sort of)

Heritage: Asgardian

Religion: A god cannot worship his fellow people

Hobbies: exploring the culture of earth, protecting the earth, making merry

Favourite colour: Gold, the gold of my armour.

Favourite animal: I am a fan of horses, but my favorites must be those, tree creature… chipmunks! Those, I like those.

Full Name: Anthony Edward Stark

Age: 47

Birthday: 5/29/70

Height: 6'1

Weight: 225 lb

Hair: brown

Eyes: brown

Occupation: Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, genius, defender of mankind…

Parents: Maria and Howard Stark

Siblings: I was too perfect for more

Heritage: 'Murican

Religion: Jedi. No, seriously.

Hobbies: building armour, building tech, doing science, kicking ass…

Favourite animal: I had a budgie once. He was cool, does Dummi count as a pet?

The Idiot tonyisthebest

FE: carrottop ; Legolas ; greengiant ; hammertime ; america :

Up to you now capsicle.

Ok , this should keep Cap's little teambuilding crap away, just fill in the questions and we won't have to go horseback riding or bowling. ?

Full Name: Steven Rogers

Age: 97

Birthday: July 4, 1920,

Height: 6'2

Weight: 220 lb

Hair: brown or straw blonde

Eyes: brown

Occupation: Captain America, what else can I say?

Parents: Sarah and Joseph Rogers

Siblings: none

Heritage: Born in US but my parents were Irish

Religion: Christian

Hobbies: I like to read, play music, enjoy a brawl with the team

Favourite animal: Never had much to do with them, there was a Canary in the trenches though.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve had become accustomed to living with spies, people who crept up on you without even realising they were doing so, he had also become accustomed to Natasha in a black leotard.

The leotard may have seemed very out of character for the Widow, but those that had seen her dance, had seen the elegance and the way she seemed to fly around the studio using the point of her toes only to touch base with the floor between moves.

None of the team knew much about Natasha's past with ballet, but we knew she was good for a reason.

When he walked from the en suite wet room into the main body of his suite in avengers tower he hadn't expected Nat to be sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed, in leotard and pointe shoes. He jumped initially but recovered quickly.

"Natasha!"

She smirked at him, patting the bed next to her, encouraging Steve to sit down.

"So," she began, dragging the sound out as though it were a question. Steve looked at her, confused, she smirked.

"Steven Rogers, I've been around the block a couple hundred times- I lost count ages ago - and I know what extra showers and giggles mean. I especially know the sound of creaking springs, and." She sniffed delicately, "The evidence still lingers in the air."

She, much to Steve's embarrassment and happiness, was smiling almost adoringly.

"Natasha," Steve could feel himself groaning. He glanced slowly but urgently around the room, making sure there were no traces of the night before which Natasha could pick up.

Natasha nudged his shoulder in a way that he had become accustom to, a way which had too much strength for a woman.

"C'mon Cap, lets hear it, was she good, I mean Sharon's a level seven, she's flexible."

Cap lifted his hand, narrowing his eyes. He didn't want to hear what had happened from the point of view of Natasha. Of course, that only left one option. As much as every sense he had told him not to discuss this with her, the flip side of the coin he needed to say it to someone, otherwise he felt he'd burst.

He quickly discovered a smile was forming on his face, and the more he tried to pull off the smile the more it grew. He glanced at Natasha, to see her smiling suggestively back at him.

"Well...,"

Steve sighed, turning his vision back to his own lap.

"I guess, it was, was like nothing else I've felt."

Natasha was smiling at him with fondness, and even though he knew her views differed Steve knew he could confide in her.

"What happened? Did she draw you in? Did you get a good view of it all? Did you keep it up long enough?"

Steve blushed,

" We, ugh, we got two rounds. I think I did better second time. Not that you'd know, but it isn't easy keeping control."

Nat laughed once,

" Please, I've been on the receiving end plenty of times, I know how the little joystick works better than most guys know their own."

Steve smiled uncomfortably, before Natasha, placed a hand quick on his shoulder.

"Please, please tell me you used a Condom."

It wasn't a word they had used in his day but luckily for Steve he had heard it since, enough to know the importance of her words.

He may have known the new name for a rubber but when Sharon had laughed and mentioned a pill. She didn't name it, and he hadn't been in the right situation to ask.

Now, to his luck, he had the opportunity.

"She mentioned a medication, a pill. She said 'it's fine, I'm on the pill?"

Looking into Natasha's face he could see he had asked the right person.

"It's a pill which stops a girl getting pregnant, controls her period, you know?"

Natasha laughed, seeing the blank look on Steve's face.

"What's a period?" He asked, feeling sure he didn't want to know but still had to ask.

Natasha shook her head, looking wide eyed at the floor as if asking it for answers.

Once she looked back to Steve, she was wearing an expression which could only ever be described as teacher-like.

"Ok, I'm not giving you a biology lesson but here's the basics. Every month women- most women- bleed. It's not something bad, it's just- you know - part of the whole breeding, reproduction, crap. The Pill, it prevents you getting knocked up and can prevent periods too- makes it easier, you can hook up whenever."

Steve took this in, women dealt with this, every month, and he never even knew it existed.

"I take it you take this pill then?"

Natasha looked down once more,

"No, I don't need it. We shouldn't be talking about this, I've got a party to plan."

"A party?"

"Sure, oldest virgin in the world finally gets laid."


	6. Chapter 6

The range wasn't somewhere Wanda could have ever imagined being. She wasn't a fighter, the closest she had been to any type of firearm was during the War in Sokovia back in childhood, then they had been something to fear. To some extent in her mind they had never ceased being something to fear. They would kill you, or, at best, they would cause a very serious injury.

It was all part of being accepted by S.H.I.E.L.D, even though she never intended to be an agent she had been told there was basic training they all had to have. This wasn't something she would ever be comfortable with. Her brother – her twin – had been murdered by one of these things. Steve Rogers, the kind and charismatic team leader, had taken her aside after the mention of firearms training. He had gently explained she would only have to do this once. She only had to know how to handle and how to fire, then she would hopefully never have to go near another pistol again.

This was part of the reason there were only three of them on the range, the other part was that the other new members, James Rhodes and Sam Wilson, they had army training. Vis, he had his own on-person weaponry. It was only her that was a complete beginner. That was why – begrudgingly – Natasha had agreed to give her a one on one lesson, straight from the top. Steve had appeared only to stand in the back of the room and secretly hope he might learn a little.

For the first lesson, Natasha had fished out a pair of ear defenders which she had handed over before teaching anything.

"I know your enhanced, but none of us know how and what exactly for. I can handle the noise, we don't know you can."

In preparation Natasha had set up a table in the centre of the room, hosting a few different hand guns. Wanda didn't doubt they were all part of Natasha's own collection.

They were all reasonably small, black and smooth in shape. Each had a neat row of ammunition sitting at their sides. Wanda swallowed.

Natasha started simply, she asked Wanda to simply pick up each of the weapons in turn, getting her to feel the weight in her hands, see what felt right. To Wanda they all felt wrong, they made her feel sick to her stomach. These things were powerful, but, as she needed to remember, nowadays so was she.

After having tried it out, felt it in her hand and been able to get a good grip on the gun. Natasha picked up a little slanted black oblong, took the pistol from her hand and shoved the black oblong into the bottom of the handle.

"That's the magazine," Natasha began, "It holds the bullets in a semi-auto. In a single action , you would."

She paused, lifting an older looking, battered pistol from the end of the table, and continued, grabbing a large bullet, " have to insert the bullet,"

She pulled back a top section of the gun, dropped the bullet in and pulled back a small lever on the back of the pistol using her thumb.

"Cock it, slip the safety and." She moved a small slide on the side of the pistol and then before Wanda was even aware, Natasha straightened her arm and fired the pistol against one of the targets on the far side of the range.

Wanda jumped, her hands lurching for her ears even though she wore the defenders. Natasha's wrist jumped backwards towards her body with the movement of the gun and there was a satisfying, but loud, thud as it hit the black centre of the target.

Natasha grinned, shaking her head in a way that Wanda could only have described as being with contentment.

"Love that noise." Natasha explained before turning back to Wanda, arm still raised.

"And now," Natasha continued, unfazed by the shocked look on the face of her protégée. She went to pull the trigger once more and Wanda flinched again but this time there was no loud bang. There was a soft click, like the type that belonged to a toy.

Natasha seemed to warm in a second, she became less the teacher and more the friend.

"It only has one bullet. It can't fire again, if you carried a single action you wouldn't have to worry about the blood bath. You'd have a safety net. An auto, fires continuously once you've pulled the trigger, a semi-auto you pull the trigger each time without having to cock it. A single action, you keep it locked and loaded till you need it."

Natasha laid the pistol back on the table.

"You're not a killer Wanda, you're a fighter. Those are different things, trust me, I've learned the hard way. You carry one if you want to, if not you've got a sniper and a close-range shot on the team. What's a team if we haven't got your six? Now, let's say we've dealt with this crap, I've trained you ok, if anyone asks you can fire a 2mm Kolibri all the way to a .600 Nitro, with your eyes shut. If things change, if you want more, you know where to find me."


	7. Chapter 7

The range wasn't somewhere Wanda could have ever imagined being. She wasn't a fighter, the closest she had been to any type of firearm was during the War in Sokovia back in childhood, then they had been something to fear. To some extent in her mind they had never ceased being something to fear. They would kill you, or, at best, they would cause a very serious injury.

It was all part of being accepted by S.H.I.E.L.D, even though she never intended to be an agent she had been told there was basic training they all had to have. This wasn't something she would ever be comfortable with. Her brother – her twin – had been murdered by one of these things. Steve Rogers, the kind and charismatic team leader, had taken her aside after the mention of firearms training. He had gently explained she would only have to do this once. She only had to know how to handle and how to fire, then she would hopefully never have to go near another pistol again.

This was part of the reason there were only three of them on the range, the other part was that the other new members, James Rhodes and Sam Wilson, they had army training. Vis, he had his own on-person weaponry. It was only her that was a complete beginner. That was why – begrudgingly – Natasha had agreed to give her a one on one lesson, straight from the top. Steve had appeared only to stand in the back of the room and secretly hope he might learn a little.

For the first lesson, Natasha had fished out a pair of ear defenders which she had handed over before teaching anything.

"I know your enhanced, but none of us know how and what exactly for. I can handle the noise, we don't know you can."

In preparation Natasha had set up a table in the centre of the room, hosting a few different hand guns. Wanda didn't doubt they were all part of Natasha's own collection.

They were all reasonably small, black and smooth in shape. Each had a neat row of ammunition sitting at their sides. Wanda swallowed.

Natasha started simply, she asked Wanda to simply pick up each of the weapons in turn, getting her to feel the weight in her hands, see what felt right. To Wanda they all felt wrong, they made her feel sick to her stomach. These things were powerful, but, as she needed to remember, nowadays so was she.

After having tried it out, felt it in her hand and been able to get a good grip on the gun. Natasha picked up a little slanted black oblong, took the pistol from her hand and shoved the black oblong into the bottom of the handle.

"That's the magazine," Natasha began, "It holds the bullets in a semi-auto. In a single action , you would."

She paused, lifting an older looking, battered pistol from the end of the table, and continued, grabbing a large bullet, " have to insert the bullet,"

She pulled back a top section of the gun, dropped the bullet in and pulled back a small lever on the back of the pistol using her thumb.

"Cock it, slip the safety and." She moved a small slide on the side of the pistol and then before Wanda was even aware, Natasha straightened her arm and fired the pistol against one of the targets on the far side of the range.

Wanda jumped, her hands lurching for her ears even though she wore the defenders. Natasha's wrist jumped backwards towards her body with the movement of the gun and there was a satisfying, but loud, thud as it hit the black centre of the target.

Natasha grinned, shaking her head in a way that Wanda could only have described as being with contentment.

"Love that noise." Natasha explained before turning back to Wanda, arm still raised.

"And now," Natasha continued, unfazed by the shocked look on the face of her protégée. She went to pull the trigger once more and Wanda flinched again but this time there was no loud bang. There was a soft click, like the type that belonged to a toy.

Natasha seemed to warm in a second, she became less the teacher and more the friend.

"It only has one bullet. It can't fire again, if you carried a single action you wouldn't have to worry about the blood bath. You'd have a safety net. An auto, fires continuously once you've pulled the trigger, a semi-auto you pull the trigger each time without having to cock it. A single action, you keep it locked and loaded till you need it."

Natasha laid the pistol back on the table.

"You're not a killer Wanda, you're a fighter. Those are different things, trust me, I've learned the hard way. You carry one if you want to, if not you've got a sniper and a close-range shot on the team. What's a team if we haven't got your six? Now, let's say we've dealt with this crap, I've trained you ok, if anyone asks you can fire a 2mm Kolibri all the way to a .600 Nitro, with your eyes shut. If things change, if you want more, you know where to find me."


	8. Chapter 8

Bruce never understood why he was drawn into these situations. He wasn't any use at team building through a workout, because when he was Bruce he had no need for muscle and stamina and when he was the other guy that muscle and stamina all came around by itself, he didn't work for it.

Today's team building work out had him especially worried. Some idiot- he reckoned it would have been Tony- had suggested fencing. Fencing, small stab-y irritating swords and him would not be a good combination. He didn't need to have a Hulk episode on the bottom floor of a brand new shiny gym hall in a brand new shiny S.H.I.E.L.D. building.

He didn't even own workout clothes before he had been roped into the Avengers initiative, never worn shorts since he was a teen. Now he stood in a simple navy tracksuit and a white t-shirt. Cap wore roughly the same bottoms but with a typical muscle shirt on the top, of course, muscle shirts looked great on Cap- He actually had muscle. Bruce was sure Natasha - No, even worse – Clint's eight-year-old son, had better muscle than he did.

It was as they congregated in the center of the hall that he noticed it was, in fact, Nat they were waiting on. Nat wasn't one to take her time changing, until the new building she had been more than happy to change alongside the guys and wasn't ashamed to show off her – ugh, ginger areas. Bruce felt himself blush at the thought, quickly shaking his head and trying to clear the image of the naked spy.

Just as he did so she entered the room. Bruce must have looked surprised because as soon as the others in the group noticed his expression they turned and copied.

Natasha was wearing mostly her usual get up for a work-out, a black sports bra and matching black workout pants which were tight fitted and fell to her knees. Then there were her feet, she appeared to be wearing black ballet pumps.

No, she WAS wearing black ballet pumps.

"Is there something on my face?" She asked, crossing her arms and staring down each of them, in turn, all except – of course – Tony.

"Ugh, Widow, I really hope you don't have a tutu behind your back."

She glanced at her feet, wiggled her toes. Then everyone groaned in disgust. Each of her toes moved on their own, even her smallest one.

"how can you do that?" Cap asked, unable to actually look at her feet in case she did it again.

"You forget, I was trained specifically, I was also trained in Russia. The best assassins treat any kill as a dance, and to dance, you need shoes."

From there another groan in disgust, she stood straight up on her toes briefly before moving back to the balls of her feet. She smirked. Anyone who knew Natasha knew that her smirks were not something good. A smirk meant she had the upper hand, and if she had the upper hand then she would use it to her advantage.

We were all, in big, big trouble.

(A/N) Hi everyone I hope you enjoy these two chapters. I am away on holiday for a few weeks so there may not be any more updates for a bit, but that doesn't mean there won't be writing happening. Also any ideas for future chapters will be considered so please give me any requests.

thanks,


	9. Chapter 9

As someone who did not have the physical need to eat as the true humans did, Vision often wondered what truly was the need for arguments like the ones he was currently witnessing.

It had begun with a TV show, one with a culinary feel which was mainly featuring a smoothie drink they had called a meal replacement. This replacement drink was supposed to prevent the human body from needing to eat and was supposedly good for those with a full lifestyle. The recipe for this drink was, he recalled, this:

2 cups of fresh kale

2 cups of unsweetened almond milk

2 cups of berries (of your choosing)

1 Banana

2 tablespoons of almond butter

¼ cup of rolled oats.

This is the point in which the argument had begun. Steve had made a scoffing sound and Tony, who had been enthralled in the programme turned to look at him with what I believe is called a Devil Stare. At this Steve persisted to roll his eyes, saying,

"Oh, come on Tony, that's just Grits with extra greens and without the sugar,"

"Yeah? Well some of us need to keep in shape Cap, I wonder if that super soldier juice stops you getting fat, huh?"

Sometimes I find it impossible to tell whether Tony is using sarcasm or if he is truly mad at a situation. I believe this to have been an amount of both.

"Guys, everyone knows that a healthy diet is about maintaining balance," Wanda was the one to speak. That surprised me a little, I did not expect her to have a good knowledge of human nutrition, but as is a growing theme, Wanda seems to be enjoying peeling away the layers of her personality to us all.

At this moment Bruce entered the room. He was glancing at a computer tablet and seemed to be reading it until Tony snapped his fingers and caught his attention.

"Ah, Bruce, here's the scientist for you, what is healthier? Is it my kale smoothie meal, or Cap's old man meatloaf and boiled veg?"

Bruce raised his hands in surrender, shook his head and carried on across the landing of the tower towards the east wing, calling after himself.

"Uhuh, nope. I'm not starting another war over food."

"Look, man, food is food, we're all gonna die one day – hopefully as hero's and not lost old men who can't remember their own name – so what does it matter what we eat? I'd rather eat good food than green, ugh, mush. Besides, Tony, that looks like something Nathan would eat."

Steve smiled sitting back in his chair with his arms folded.

"Fine, but this isn't over till I say so Vision? Keep score. You can be the impartial one, let me know when I have a clear advantage and can pull through for the winning score."

With that Tony headed off in the direction of the kitchen, mumbling about having to find out what kale was before he ate it.


	10. Chapter 10

Tony was sulking about something. Natasha was always good at seeing through emotions but if most emotions were hidden behind a wall Tony's were hidden behind a window pane. They were not hidden, he was like a toddler.

After a few moments of a team who had been happily talking about a topic on the Morning TV now sitting in silence an ad came on and Tony groaned. Natasha had looked up; his groan had been a clear indicator that the commercial related to what was annoying him. She glanced up for a tablet she'd been scanning the USSR news feed on and felt her expression change with surprise and confusion.

The advertisement was for tampons.

"Yeah," Tony moaned, clearly fishing for sympathy, "But they don't tell you that with these you get a freebie Hulk impersonator – No offense Banner – But when we get a paper cut we don't get a free-pass to grumpy town."

Natasha should have rolled her eyes and went back to the page of Cyrillic in front of her. Normally she ignored Tony's tantrums, but this, this had been a tiny step too far. She couldn't let male ignorance be spread in a building with one female resident and one who liked to sleep over in Tony's room. No, she had to take one for the team even if she was the only member.

"That is possibly the worst comparison I've ever heard." Nat said, the rest of the team turning to look at her as if they had forgotten she was there.

"I mean, yeah," Tony agreed, nodding, " It's not a good analogy. It's more like druelling, it doesn't cause pain like a paper cut,"

Natasha felt her eyebrows raise in shock, could they really know this little, so much for the great American education system. Bruce, pushing his glasses up his nose, looked as though he was about to speak but Natasha could feel herself getting annoyed and the words were lucky to come out in English they were released so quickly.

"You really know that little? Of course, it's painful, do you even know what a period is?"

Glancing around the room, Tony shrugged, Clint opened and shut his mouth several times and Thor just looked utterly perplexed. Bruce raised his hand, pointing one finger to the ceiling like a school kid. Natasha gestured to him,

"Bruce, please explain to these idiots, a little bit of biology might help them get there."

Bruce blushed, clearing his throat before he began to speak, trying to look anywhere but into the eyes of Natasha.

"Ugh, the female period is the shedding of the uterine lining. A lining of blood is created throughout the month to cushion a developing foetus, if an embryo is not implanted the lining is shed."

"Precisely," Natasha picked up almost immediately. "The inside is being shed, the muscles are contracting, hormones are going all over the place. It sucks, you men are so lucky and you don't even know it."

Thor nodded his head, eyes hide as though he had been shown a ghost.

"I understand there must be anguish in this time for all females. When this time is nigh we must support you. We are not men without support for the women amongst us."

Natasha laughed, she supposed she was about to confuse them even more. It was the best way to make a good bought of confusion come from her little flare up.

"Oh, I don't have them." She stood, tucking her tablet under her arm and twisting on her heel to leave the room.

"Give me any day of the week, I'm always a total Bitch."


	11. Outnumbered

"Блядь!"

At first, Natasha Romanoff didn't understand why the swear word had caught her attention. Sure Wanda was young but she wasn't a kid, it wasn't as if she shouldn't swear. It also, she was sure, wasn't the first time she had heard the young avenger swear, and it wasn't out of place, Natasha would also have sworn if she had bumped her glass and got water down the front of her t-shirt.

Then it hit her. She was Bilingual – multilingual-, that was something she had known for a long time, but sometimes it didn't register in her mind when a word was spoken if it was in her native tongue or in English anymore. That word, the one which she had instantly translated to the English 'Fuck' was spoken in her own language.

"как вы сказали?"

Wanda looked up from the wet patch on her t-shirt as though she had just been caught doing something she shouldn't. She hadn't been here long, only a matter of days had passed since the whole thing in Sokovia, her brother had just died and it dawned on Natasha that the kid probably hadn't been doing family trees in order to have known her heritage. Natasha was, after all, the American version of her birth name.

"как ваша фамилия?" The kid replied, _what is your surname?_ So she did speak Russian, she wouldn't have got that far if she didn't.

"романова. а ты говоришь по русски?" She already knew the answer, of course, Wanda spoke Russian and with a Surname like Maximoff, coming from максимова, she must have had some form of Russian heritage at some stage. It was then that Natasha caught a glance at Steve from across the room in the adjacent sitting area. He was watching them carefully, aware he didn't know a word of what they had said.

"давайте повеселиться с мальчиками," Natasha whispered, watching as Steve's confusion had caught on and the other men in the sitting room, huddled around a football game, had started to watch too.

"да," Wanda smiled.

Poor kid. This was the first time Natasha thought she had ever seen her smile. She was so young, and she had lost everything. That was something Natasha knew a lot about but it wasn't something she ever wanted others to experience.

"Откуда твоя фамилия?" Natasha continued, _where is your surname from?_

They continued back and forth in Russian, many of the words from Wanda becoming more staggered and basic as they moved away from everyday phrases. Wanda, Natasha learned, had done basic Russian at school – even having a qualification in it from high school. Her Grandfather had been a Russian Jew, moved to Sokovia to start a new life after the second world war when safety had resumed in that part of the world. That had obviously led to the surname Maximoff.

As they spoke, Natasha asking questions and Wanda answering them the best she could, the two girls could see their colleagues becoming increasingly confused. Eventually, they began to mumble.

"What are they saying." Steve was the one to start.

"They must be talking about us, look at that side eye from Natasha." Then came Tony.

"Nah, Man, that's just Natasha, she always looks at people like that - even looks at me like that." Finishing with Clint.

It was at that point that there was a swishing sound and the Robot – or whatever he was, Natasha still didn't feel she really got the whole thing – Vision, entered the room, sliding effortlessly through the walls as if they were hot butter. He elegantly placed both feet on the ground and spoke in his soft and wise tone.

"There is no need to be alarmed gentlemen, they are simply talking about the history of Wanda's family."

"Well, must admit, expected more from you Nat, super spy assassin and all, thought you'd talk about something a bit more interesting."

Natasha turned and smile, the faces of the four boys seeming to drop.

"Oh, really? Well, that was just the start, and unless any of you become fluent in Russian overnight you'll never know if we're talking food or talking about who has the best biceps. Sorry boys, but we're outnumbered by you all and we need to make up for it somehow."

Natasha watched as Tony sighed and headed from the room. She knew he couldn't handle it, knew he was hitting the internet either to learn the language or to find some way to auto-translate every word she said. Still, it would keep him out of the way for a while.


End file.
